Sometimes in Business, You Need to Do YOU.

IN: Hard Stuff, Selling, Success

The dead horse of the decade is the target customer. You’re asked to create personas. Put yourself in their shoes bras. Get inside their head. Imagine what’s keeping them up at 3 o’clock in the morning. (For the record, it’s that their ass is getting fat and they totally forgot to make coies for their kid’s bake sale.) So there you went, thinking about everything from the target customer’s perspective. What will they want? What will they think? What will

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Look, We’ve All Got Our Faults. *Stomps Cigar*

IN: Confidence, Hard Stuff, Success

Lo, we’ve all got our faults. I, for one, have a wrinkly ass neck. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when it happened. But all the sudden there are s as deep as the Panama Canal cutting across my trachea. Fortunately, all the resveratrol I’ve consumed over the years seems to have spared my face…so far. Or, I don’t know, maybe I should be thanking Laura Mercier for that. Ever since I was twenty one, I’ve been

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Please, Don’t Get Hard (Even When Life Is)

IN: Hard Stuff, Life

So, I’m standing there at this bakery in Costa Rica, trying not to order the things one orders at a bakery, because if I order bakery-like things from this bakery, I might as well give my stomach pooch full on permission to never, ever fucking go away. And then what will become of me? Forget the fear of becoming a cat lady; I’m far terrified of becoming an angry, bitter old wench who could never stand to lo at

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Plan On Being Nervous, Brilliantly

IN: Hard Stuff, Success

Being nervous sucks. Your pulse races. Your brain blanks. Your hands shake like little assholes. You tell yourself to take deep breaths, but the minute you do, you then worry that the entire room can see the fact that your heart is, in fact, doing the electric slide up and down your rib cage. (God help your soul if you’re wearing Spanx.) We’ve all had these moments—we’re a nervous bunch, you know? (Yes, even the confident ones.) Whether it’s the

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An HR Handbook for Dealing With Assholes

IN: Hard Stuff

Here’s a pessimistic point of view: People are assholes. The older I get, the I seem to notice them—which is either because the time I’m alive the I increase my odds, or because that god damn Certain Dri deodorant is actually some kind of dick magnet. Or, you know, maybe it’s the internet. As a tool that’s given a population of people one big, fat pink slip to run around screaming, “Me! Me! Me!” all the live

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The 140 Character Email: An Experiment in Sanity

IN: Hard Stuff

You know the e. The one you’re dreading responding to—not because of what it says, but because the second you open it, all you see is lurching at your face as if the sender had taken the entire Sunday edition of The New York Times, reformatted it into one column, ed it off onto a roll of 1992 perforated computer paper, and then laughed as they lit it on fire and dropped it off at your digital doorstep—aka, your inbox—before

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Email Is a Disease (And Why My New Email Policy Is Going to Piss the World Off)

IN: Hard Stuff

The most dangerous threat you’ll ever face in business is yourself. You’ll be too nice when you should be firm. You’ll be too lax when you should be discipd. You’ll drink too much wine when you should drink water. *los around room innocently* Andddddd, not to bring it up (ay, fine, I’M BRINGING IT UP) you will answer every last e that does a cannonball into your inbox…when you should be answering to yourself. A few years ago when I

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When You’re Running Around Like a Frizzy-Haired, Obessive-Compulsive Psychopath

IN: Hard Stuff

Nobody gets between me and my business. Nobody. Not even that shit bottle of wine from the night before. It could be Saturday. It could be Easter morning. It could be raining REALLY BIG MUSCLY MEN for all I care, but one thing is certain: I will be the most discipd person in the room, and I will get it done. I’m like a military sergeant when it comes to execution. (Not that kind of execution.) I don’t tolerate excuses from

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To Have a Routine or Not to Have a Routine: That is the (Worst, Most Annoying, Head-Pounding) Business Question

IN: Confidence, Hard Stuff

At 5am, I write. Around 11am I go for a jog. I never eat the skin on a chicken. And on Sundays, after a morning fuck, I do my accounting. I used to think that habit & routine were for the birds. I used to think that doing certain things a certain way all the time was the equivalent of jail. I used to think that predictable was for boring people, and methodical for the scared. Scared of life. Scared

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When You’re Scrappy, You Don’t Give a Sh*t

IN: Confidence, Hard Stuff, Life

I like the term scrappy. I’ve always pictured some femme fatale bobbing and weaving and diving and  into any number of ways to get the one and only job done that she’s there to do: Win. It reminds me of my favorite Will Smith quote (oh, you don’t have a favorite Will Smith quote?) “The only thing that I see distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out worked, period. You might

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How to Make a Hard Decision (Without Convulsing, Crying or Going Crazy)

IN: Hard Stuff

A lot of disgusting things happen when you’re a human. (And I’m not talking about chin hairs, though they definitely qualify.) And some of those things will require you, at some point, to make some really hard decisions. The kind of decisions that feel impossible to make. The kind that drag race through your large intestine. The kind that cause you to reconsider your position on Xanax. (Right after you learned it was sneakily spelled with an X.) A lot

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Ass-Scratching Business Conundrum: Is It Worth It to Go Out of Your Way…Or Not?

IN: Hard Stuff

You know what’s really messed up? Internet connections. Here we are building these creepy little awesome robots that get injected INSIDE YOUR BODY to cure cancer….making camouflage suits inspired by the octopus that automatically read their environment and adapt to mimic their surroundings, and coming out with wireless electricity, for the of Edison…but you think I can get G to load? Forget it. I’m pretty sure I have an internet curse. No matter where I go in the world,

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The Internet Has Boundary Issues, and People Are Assholes. So What?

IN: Hard Stuff, Pet Peeves

So I block this girl on the other day. Actually, it wasn’t so much a block as it was a ban (if only I could do this to people in real life?) because Little Miss Hot Pants thought she would be cute and tell me how much of a shithead I am on the TMF page. Granted, I am a shithead – especially if there’s no cream for the coffee – but that doesn’t mean I need to

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Two Gorgeous Ways of Saying NO in Business…Without Throwing Cheeseburgers at People’s Heads

IN: Clients, Hard Stuff

Boundaries in business are important. I’m obsessed with them. I talk about boundaries a lot. Probably because when I was young, I was very, very horrible at setting them. Girlfriends would nag me into doing whatever dumb thing they wanted me to do that weekend, like crochet. Or sneak out bedroom windows at 1 o’clock in the morning to go meet cute boys next door who wanted us to take off our shirts. I actually have a diary entry where

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How to Stop Hating Your Email (Before You Slice Your Own Wrists)

IN: Hard Stuff

I get a lot of e. In fact, I probably have es in my inbox every day than I have hairs on my head – and since I’m not going bald, this means that I have a lot of people who are requesting my time…all the time. You’d think it was because I was important or something. I wish that were the case. I’m no important than you are. But since I have a public persona, I probably

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Cowardly Business Owners: An Epidemic?

IN: Hard Stuff, Pet Peeves

Yesterday, I got stood up. As you may know, I have my hands in a boating company, and yesterday, a brain surgeon from the Carolinas simply didn’t show up for a charter—despite having submitted a sizeable deposit, and despite the manager waiting for him at the marina, calling, eing, iMessaging. One might be worried, if we hadn’t seen him later on that very afternoon at the local grill, at which point, hot-to-trot-fancy-free proceeds to completely ignore the manager—and our shouts

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Business Lacking Direction? Start With the Money.

IN: Business 101, Hard Stuff

Imagine you’re seven years old, and you’ve never coed anything before, so help your Fisher Price kitchenette. But suddenly you’re home alone, and you’re tasked with making yourself a meal. So naturally, you do what any seven year old would do: You get a big pot, and you start putting your favorite things into it. Pepperoni pizza—fucking icious. Chips Ahoy? Goin’ IN. Strawberry Pop Tarts—who’s your daddy. What’s up, meatballs! Dash of chocolate syrup… Some leftover mashed potatoes… Three frozen onion rings

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Million Things To Do? Prioritize by ROI. (And Then Get a Life.)

IN: Hard Stuff

So if you’re anything like me (which obviously you are or else you wouldn’t be reading this blog and/or wishing for those last 10 pounds to magically fall off), you’ve constantly got a never-ending stream of STUFF TO DO. When you run a business, that never-ending stream in size, and you begin to feel like everybody in the whole wide world needs something from you at all times of day, at all times of the month (especially *that* time of

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How to Say No To Your Clients Without Being a Bitch

IN: Hard Stuff

I want to talk about managing clients today, because everybody seems to have a /hate relationship with theirs, and my theory is that the hate part comes from one of two sources: Tightwads. (Don’t work with them.) Not knowing how to tell them to BACK OFF, HOMIE. Begin a slow clap if you’ve experienced this popular scenario: Client pays you. Client feels entitled to your soul.  Whether they’re being stage-five-clinger needy, asking for ( & ), showing up in your inbox like a bad

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Hurling Macbooks, Clubbing Pet Hamsters & Other Sunday Pleasantries

IN: Clients, Confidence, Hard Stuff

I used to tell my mom everything—from my (entirely uneventful) thoughts on men, to my idealistic views on the world (ignorant conservatives should have their bibles switched out for a Spanish-only edition as punishment for being cruel to immigrants), to the many “what do I do?!” moments one has while attempting to be an adult. Or…something. Then, of course, she had to go and die, which meant a lot of things, but also this: My friends were doomed. I have

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WANTED: Your Jerkiest, Most Unprofessional, Inappropriate Business Emails. (You Can Keep The Sender.)

IN: Hard Stuff

You ever get an e that just pisses you off? All you’re trying to do is go about your day, maybe fire off a few invoices, maybe do a little creative work, maybe try to avoid having a mid-day myocardial infarction. And then it arrives. You can’t tell if it’s an e or maybe somebody laid their elbow on the wing ding button. You scan it and see a wall of exclamation points, capital letters, and percent signs and asterisks

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You Can Always Make More Money, But You Can Never Make More Principle.

IN: Hard Stuff

I can’t help but wonder if the man seated in 22D has witnessed me biting my lip over and over and over and over again for the past 4 hours. There’s a cycle, you know. Bite, peel, move left. Bite, peel, move left. Bite, peel, command myself to stop. And then bite again. He must think I’m one of those people who gets anxious when they fly. I laugh at the thought. Somehow, being torpedoed through thin air in a

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I Believe in Stomach Ulcers The Way Most People Believe in God

IN: Hard Stuff, Writing

I believe in stomach ulcers the way most people believe in God. I can’t see them, nor do I have proof they’ve ever existed in my body, but somehow, I BELIEVE THEY MUST BE THERE. I mean, how could you do the kind of things we do and not have some sort of evil acid eating away at your small intestine? You know the kinds of things I’m talking about: Forcing ourselves to answer every e in every inbox before we

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When You’re Having Buckets of Sh*t Dumped On You Left & Right

IN: Confidence, Hard Stuff

Once upon a time, you were young and inspired, and you knew things about the world. Things like peanut butter tastes better without jelly (fact), the height of a girl’s ponytail likely matches her socio-economic class, and best friends forever means forever, because anything that’s engraved into a half heart necklace is a SERIOUS COMMITMENT. And then? It all hit the fan. You discovered peanut butter no one will take you seriously wearing a ponytail, and stainless steel half-hearts give

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36 Signs You’re an Internet Dick

IN: Hard Stuff

1. You buy stuff on and then automatically file a chargeback with your credit card company. The internet is onto you, Kim Chow. 2. You play coy with the customer service rep you’re live chatting with. “Well I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me *your* e address?” 3. You send professional es in all caps—and even throw in some, “!!!#%@%@” for good measure. Surely I’ll be taking you seriously now. 4. You buy an on course and use it to barter with people for

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Dear Friends: I Work From Home. (And Yes, It’s a Real Job.)

IN: Hard Stuff

Dear Friends, I work from home. You know this, because you regularly: Ask me to get Little Billy off the bus. (Little Billy needs some god damn Ritalin.) Exclaim, “must be nice!” at least once a week. Roll your eyes when I tell you I’m tired. (How dare I have the right to be tired when all I do is stay home and watch TV and nap?) Ask me over and over what I do for a living, because you’re either never

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Just The Tip: What To Do When You Hire Them And…They Suck.

IN: Hard Stuff

So you started a business and before you knew it you were regularly lip syncing to Gaga while kicking ass, taking orders, AND taking names—which, for the record, I hear is a mafia term. Isn’t that ightful? Suddenly, you found yourself with an extra $5 and immediately shouted to no one in particular, “I’m going to reinvest in my business!” before promptly hiring a charming cadre of web designers, copywriters, app developers, business coaches, and anyone else you could think of to

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