Welcome to I Hate Monday, the most productive way for small business owners & bloggers to procrastinate until it’s not Monday anymore.
1. THERE IS A BOB ROSS PAINTING MARATHON HAPPENING ON TWITCH. That is all you need to know. Monday blues can officially be smothered in “little happy clouds.”
2. This is the worst idea anyone has EVER had.
3. Does the struggle of putting a tea bag into a cup of piping hot water really chap your ass? Don’t worry. Now, there’s a robot that does it for you.
4. If these people can make careers out of this and this, none of us have any excuses, ever. (Also, I might have to hire that woman to be my mom. I mean, who couldn’t use one of those?)
5. My twitter girlfriend @stylit randomly received a personalized tray customized with one of her tweets from Diet Coke. This is what happens when you build a platform, folks. Not that you’ll get adorable things from Diet Coke, but that opportunities come searching for you…not the other way around.
6. This piece is testimony to what happens when your writing gets real. (Hint: Brilliant thinking = brilliant writing.)
7. Looking for new book recommendations based on books you’ve liked in the past? Ask this bearded man! I might have to make him my new boyfriend.
8. I have an incredibly well-known author & online personality looking for a sharp as hell, witty copywriter. Have you added your name to my referral list yet?
9. This 97 year old woman visited Google’s headquarters as a part of Wish of a Lifetime. My favorite question? “Can you explain to me what is the cloud?”
10. Best. Idea. Ever. Make your passwords a poem.
11. This is the best thing I’ve read on the relationship between writers & readers in a very long time.
12. When all else fails on a Monday…drop everything and look for your doppelganger, instead.
13. Heard that sitting is the new smoking? Wish you could have one of those fancy standing desks—without spending thousands of dollars? I’m kind of loving this portable one. I mean, who doesn’t want to take their desk to work alongside the edge of a cliff?
14. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE EVER TELL ME ABOUT THESE HEATED BED-LIKE-SOFAS? These look like the perfect rainy / miserable / snowy / shitty day companion.
15. Looking for a slick new way to present your work to potential clients? This looks like it could come in handy. (I love tools that make me look more tech savvy than I am.)
16. These parents are opting out of their kids doing homework. I like this. Though I’m pretty sure back in 1990 my mom would have been laughed out of the classroom. On a related note? These guys sued a school because of “their son’s wifi allergy.”
17. If you’re not getting enough sleep, your body is actually turning itself into a deformed little disgusting green alien. My words.
18. Coolest office ever. I bet those bastards feel smug.
19. If you’re broke, you can still go on vacation. It just might have to be jammed between containers on an ocean freighter. Nothing says romance like cargo?
20. The more successful you get, the more pressure you put on yourself. WILL THE MADNESS EVER END?
21. There are three things I’ve always wanted: 1. Abs. 2. A singing voice that didn’t sound like a donkey giving birth to a hyena. 3. The ability to paste stuff from two copies ago. For the love of technology! How many times a day do you go to paste something but then realized you’ve already copied over it? Stress out about the contents of your clipboard no more.
22. This feels like it’s either going to be awesome for telling stories, orrrrrrr one of those things that started off awesome for telling stories…until everybody started using it and then it became so boilerplate that anyone who clicked in immediately puked and scolded themselves upon page load.
There we go. Politely piss off now, Monday. We’ll see you next week.
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