“Can I you a drink? How about a meatball sandwich? Here, just have some cheese and crackers. What about turkey? Do you like turkey? We could always order a pizza…” This was my mother’s way of inviting everyone into our home. From friends of mine, to boyfriends of mine, to the man who came with the propane truck once a month to fill up the tank out back. And mind you, my mother was shy. Like, painfully shy. But the
The Way You Make a Million Dollars is by Earning One Dollar, A Million Times
When I first started writing my business memoir, there was one thing I was terrible at: SCENE. Not because I didn’t understand the importance, but because it was holy fucking hard to remember what actually happened the eve of, say, April 17th, 1992, while so-and-so played a harmonica and Lucy Loo showed the boys her undies. WERE WE ALL WEARING BLUE? DID THE AIR SMELL OF DAISIES? HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO REMEMBER THIS AND WHY DO I FEEL LIKE
Prices Are Little Facts, My Dear: A Love Note to Anyone Having Trouble Charging What They’re Worth
Money is important, and you can’t run a business without it. BUT WE LOVE TO PRETEND LIKE THAT ISN’T TRUE. I had an incredible meeting with a new business owner yesterday except I was her client instead of the reverse. (And she’s a naturopath, you guys, can you believe this shit? I’m evolving.) When it came time to talk about money, however, she began with the very adorable (and totally normal), “Oh no, I’m not going to charge you, I’m
Where’s The Money, Honey?
You ever walk through the first-class section of an airplane and think, “Who are these fucks?” I’ll tell you who they are: The people that make up to 50% of an air’s revenue. Fifty percent! Which is striking since, you know, there are, like, five seats up there, compared to the bajillion the rest of us low-lifes sit in. But isn’t that telling? An air makes 50% of its revenue from 20% or less of its seats—which is precisely why
Unf*ckwithable BOSS | Online Business Development Program
*enthusiastic drum roll por favor* Just kidding. I’d actually like an electronic harp, please. (Obviously superior.) Ladies, gents, and pandas, it is my pleasure to announce that the all-new Unf*ckwithable Boss On Business Development Program is now officially open. If you ever wished that you and I could put our heads together over a bottle of wine, and work together for a series of weeks ing in hard and creating—or overhauling—your on business from start to finish, A-Z, this is for you. As
UNF*CKWITHABLE BOSS: Red Hot, Brand New, Business Development & Refinery Program. Now Open for Enrollment!
Hang onto your pumpkin loafs! (By which I mean, eat all the pumpkin loaf and then get yo’ glasses on, because there’s big news in the house today.) My brand-new business mentorship program has just rolled up in a Cadillac and is currently swigging vodka before making its debut onto the red carpet. It’s called UNF*CKWITHABLE BOSS, and it’s here to change the face of modern work forever. Unconventional name? Check. Unconventional purpose? Double check. If you’ve been thinking about striking
$199 vs $200: The difference of a dollar is never just the difference of a dollar.
I was recently told a story about a man named Uncle Bill who went to Colombia, stayed in a hostel, and climbed the ladder into his bunk—even after the four bottles of wine. Uncle Bill wasn’t your average uncle, though. Uncle Bill was eighty-nine years old. Which sounds like a lot, when you say it out loud, right? Eighty nine! What?! But you know what it sounds less than? Ninety. One sounds pretty old, but not as old as ninety. Once you
“How do I raise my rates without making it awkward?”
Well isn’t this the motherloving question of the year. It gets asked a lot sometime between the stages of that time you started your business and worked for peanuts because you were feeling wildly insecure about your worth and holy bananas I’ve been doing this for years and I’m still barely making rent even though I work around the clock, my armpits stink, and I haven’t seen the outside in days. You’ve come to the sobering reality that your rates
Do You Suck at Oral? A (Tongue-In-Cheek) Discussion on Why It’s Hard to Ask for Money
My first sales call was the most disgusting thing I’d ever done. I mean, I don’t even like talking on the phone with people I know, let alone people I don’t. My for the phone ended after the 7th grade, when boys stopped calling and AIM instant messenger sank its teeth into our corsage-donning little hearts. Back then, I was an instant messenger queen. I proved myself through my cat-like ability to manage multiple chat windows at a time
Making Money is Not as Hard as Most People Make It
There is a distinct and profound difference between people who make money and people who don’t: The money. Hard, cold, icious, beautiful bendy stacks of cash. I know there are a lot of people that say money is evil and your nostril hairs will catch on fire if you want anything other than world peace, but usually those people are the ones who aren’t very good at making it. Let me tell you a little something about money: There is
Are You Running a Business…Or Running Yourself Into the Ground?
I have a couple of friends who are working themselves to the bone. Like, physically, They’re designers and writers; coaches and service providers, and they are doing whatever it takes to make it work. Unfortunately, “whatever it takes” often includes: » Taking on one hundred little small jobs all at once for peanuts » Confusing overivering value with overivering time » Running themselves ragged in a constant flurry of overwhelm » And letting their clients run their business for them.
Caution: Stop Masturbating With Your Money.
Last year I had $224,225.77 in business expenses. That’s a metric fuck ton of cash for a small business to be throwing down, and probably than my mother ever made in her entire life. And yet, I’ve never been so pleased and here’s why: When you do it right, your expenses aren’t expenses. They’re tools. Most people are afraid to spend money. They’re afraid it won’t be worth it. But, is that what they’re really worried about? When you’re deciding
Just The Tip: How to Save Money For People Who Are Notoriously Bad At Saving Money
Let me guess. You haven’t started saving for retirement yet. You don’t know how you’re going to pay your taxes (because you haven’t been keeping up with—what are those silly things called?—quarterly payments.) You certainly don’t have a rainy day fund. <—Said while laughing hysterically into your beer. And college? Well, the kids will just have to open a lemonade stand. (And charge $100 a glass.) Disciplining yourself to save is hard—especially when it feels like you’re just barely scraping
Are You Making Money or Losing It? Also: Porridge
It’s never just about the money coming in; you have to consider the money going out. When you take on a job, sure, you might earn $5,000. But what’s the cost of earning it? If you have to forfeit 3 other projects (and your favorite Wednesday night TV show) for a combined total revenue of $15,000, you’re not making money. You’re losing it. As an example, when our team embarks on a copywriting project, oftentimes we get asked for heavy
Percentage Off or Flat Rate? How to Run a Sale That SELLS.
I hate rules. No swimming after eating. Let him call you. Sorry, our video library can only be watched from within The United States. (Stab. Stab. Stab.) No white after Labor Day. And other silly rules like stay on your side of the road. …I kid, I kid. That last one can slide–as long as we’re not head to head, rounding a curve at the Indy 500. But there is one rule, however, that I think is pretty nifty. It’s
Creating New Offerings–or Revising Your Old? Grab Wine. Listen Up.
Don’t ever buy wine with me. I’m warning you. I’ll be the jerk all the way over in the corner in Aisle 7 trying to buy the obscure, unpronounceable wine that no one’s ever heard of–partly because it helps me with my All-American complex (you know, the one where you realize you’re not exotic at ALL), and partly because snooty wine labels with edges that have been HAND SINGED by the blaze of an elderly Italian man in a faraway land
Not Making As Much Money As You’d Like? Time to Fix That.
Money. You have enough, or you don’t. Over the years, I’ve do-si-doed around both sides of that dichotomy. As a pre-teen, my mom and I sometimes had to borrow money to buy a roll of one-ply toilet paper to get us through the weekend. Scott brand. I remember it was Scott, because it was always Scott. I wasn’t allowed to buy anything else. But I always secretly longed for Charmin. I so desperately wanted to be the kind of people
Alert Your Accountant: This Post Is About To Make You More Money.
I used to think there were only two types of people: Those who would get busy in a church parking lot, and those who wouldn’t. Forget politics–this is the stuff that really divides. And of course, if we’re following the script, the next sentence you’re expecting to come charging out of my fingers should go something along the s of: “But now, I’ve had this profound, striking, life-affirming realization that has altered the way I think about EVERYTHING, now and
How To Get People To Spend Way More Money Than They Planned. Tango References Included.
Ever been to Buenos Aires? No? Well me fucking either. Which is precisely why I just boed a plane ticket. Who lives in Santiago, Chile and never goes to Buenos Aires? Morons, that’s who. Determined to not be a moron (unless we’re talking about in the kitchen; in the kitchen I’m always a moron), I’m gonna shim-shim-shimmy on over there and see how many tango couples I can trip. Thought you were real fancy with all that leg kicking, didn’t