“Let’s hop on a call” strikes VAMPIRE-LIKE-TERROR into the heart of new business owners and experienced ones alike. When I to a survey asking why, here were some of the answers: Just puhleezze buy it…don’t make me ask!! The first 10 seconds are so awkward! I hate small talk but never know how to start the conversation right. I want to sound like a girl with brains and someone to be reckoned with—but I have no idea how. I hate
The Hot Dog Theory of Money (And How to Ask For It With Ease)
I have a theory about money, and it goes like this: If you were selling hot dogs at a hot dog stand, and some guy walked up and asked you how much a hot dog cost, would you hem and haw and say to the guy: “Uh, well, let me see…usssssuually I charge between one dollar and three dollars-ish—yeah, that’s right—but since this is your first time buying a hot dog from me, I’m happy to work with you on
My Favorite Line for Handling Angry People With Dignity + Grace
“Why don’t you tell me what you think would be appropriate?” Useful language for handling complex situations like: A customer is unsatisfied. An employee is complaining. A friend is upset. Your sister is angry you don’t see her enough. A gorgeous Italian man is holding a very serious grudge because you denied his advances as you pranced into the sunset before you realized you were very, very stupid, and now you’re begging his forgiveness. (Torturous, I am sure.) Most of
UNF*CKWITHABLE BOSS: Red Hot, Brand New, Business Development & Refinery Program. Now Open for Enrollment!
Hang onto your pumpkin loafs! (By which I mean, eat all the pumpkin loaf and then get yo’ glasses on, because there’s big news in the house today.) My brand-new business mentorship program has just rolled up in a Cadillac and is currently swigging vodka before making its debut onto the red carpet. It’s called UNF*CKWITHABLE BOSS, and it’s here to change the face of modern work forever. Unconventional name? Check. Unconventional purpose? Double check. If you’ve been thinking about striking
Do You Suck at Oral? A (Tongue-In-Cheek) Discussion on Why It’s Hard to Ask for Money
My first sales call was the most disgusting thing I’d ever done. I mean, I don’t even like talking on the phone with people I know, let alone people I don’t. My for the phone ended after the 7th grade, when boys stopped calling and AIM instant messenger sank its teeth into our corsage-donning little hearts. Back then, I was an instant messenger queen. I proved myself through my cat-like ability to manage multiple chat windows at a time
Two Gorgeous Ways of Saying NO in Business…Without Throwing Cheeseburgers at People’s Heads
Boundaries in business are important. I’m obsessed with them. I talk about boundaries a lot. Probably because when I was young, I was very, very horrible at setting them. Girlfriends would nag me into doing whatever dumb thing they wanted me to do that weekend, like crochet. Or sneak out bedroom windows at 1 o’clock in the morning to go meet cute boys next door who wanted us to take off our shirts. I actually have a diary entry where
Hurling Macbooks, Clubbing Pet Hamsters & Other Sunday Pleasantries
I used to tell my mom everything—from my (entirely uneventful) thoughts on men, to my idealistic views on the world (ignorant conservatives should have their bibles switched out for a Spanish-only edition as punishment for being cruel to immigrants), to the many “what do I do?!” moments one has while attempting to be an adult. Or…something. Then, of course, she had to go and die, which meant a lot of things, but also this: My friends were doomed. I have
Just The Tip: On Stutter-Free Sales Pitches.
You know when… …you hear somebody speak who’s obviously nervous and they’re talking a million miles a minute and you kind of wonder if they’re even breathing and you sort of kind of feel bad for them because you can tell how nervous they are so now you sort of feel nervous FOR them—and you really hope they seriously don’t faint, vomit or do that thing where they blank, cry and go running off the stage? Kind of awkward, right? Kind of distracts from
21 Must-Memorize Responses for Clients Who Play Bad Kitty
Last week, I gave you three must-have client scripts to gracefully navigate the holidays. But why stop there? Awkward client conversations will always happen, whether you’re jingling bells atop a mistletoe-adorned dumpster or…fatefully not. ALAS. Here are 21 responses you’ll want to memorize the next time your (well-meaning) client balks at your prices, ignores your deads, or otherwise plays bad kitty. Remember: Don’t be a business push over. It’s up to you to control the conversation. WHEN A PROSPECTIVE CLIENT WANTS
Three Must-Have Client Scripts To Help You (Gracefully) Navigate The Holidays
There is only one reason for this blog post: Because your (hard-working heart) likely sucks at setting boundaries with your clients. And guess what? It’s only going to get harder during the holidays—when you most want to relax, stop working for 3.4 seconds, and drink ALL the egg nog. (Followed by a chocolate covered cherry eating contest and at least one afternoon ight.) So behold. Three TMF written-and-approved client scripts to help you (gracefully) navigate the holidays like a real pro—without being
How To Say Hard Stuff Gracefully
Whenever you have something hard / uncomfortable / difficult to say to someone–whether it’s to your client, your employee, your web designer, your friend, or your bat shit crazy mother-in-law–the following magic words will get you out of any situation gracefully, loing like a pro. (And commanding respect, too.) I’m going to have to insist __________________. I’m going to have to insist on billing you for the additional hours. I’m going to have to insist on payment before the
Resent Your Clients?
Too often you do things you shouldn’t. Because you worry that if you don’t answer that e at 11pm, if you don’t squeeze them in this week, if you don’t work within their budget, if you don’t do the extra round of revisions for free, if you don’t accept their god damn request, there’s going to be a consequence. But there’s a difference between doing what’s best for your business. And doing what’s best for your guilty conscience. Make
The Secret to Avoiding Pain In The Ass Clients
If you’ve never had a Brazilian wax, I’m pretty sure you should try it. Not only will you feel supremely sexy, but you’ll also never complain again about stubbing your toe, jamming a finger, getting a paper cut, or getting violently smashed in the face with a crowbar. Compared to the pain of a Brazilian–those things? Child’s play. Speaking of savagely ripping out hundreds of icate hairs using piping hot insect excretions, I’d like to mention something else that seems