Lewd(ER) Life Lessons From 2011. To Be Read With a Fake Italian Accent.

IN: Business 101

When it comes to running your own business, business can be pleasure. Whoever’s telling you different is clearly in the wrong of work.  Speaking of work, when you work for money and nothing else, that’s exactly what you’ll end up with:  Money, and nothing else.  Do it for the right reasons. Don’t be shortsighted. You know better. Think of sex as a business activity with an ROI.  It *will* help your productivity (and profitability) in the long-run. Ditto for naps, massages, dirty

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Lewd Life Lessons from 2011 (Hey, That Rhymed.)

IN: Business 101

It might be true that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But the successful baller shot caller says, “Playa please!” and finds another avenue that naturally comes easier. Trust in nature. And anything made with vodka. You should probably have a good cry, already. And then another. And then another. But…use waterproof mascara. Never tell yourself you shouldn’t feel a certain way. If you feel it, that’s all you need to know. Don’t fight battles you weren’t meant to.

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Entrepreneurs + Marriage: Possible? Or Possibly Hopeless?

IN: Business 101

Marriage scares the *#$^!&*(±*@&%^$*#@(±!!)!)!%&@# out of me. As a matter of fact, it scares me so much, there should really be some of these in there: ¡¿¡¿ (For once, buying my Macbo in South America, and having the corresponding Spanish keyboard, paid off. Lo at that sexy upside down punctuation! You like them papayas? Do ya? I’m pretty sure I learned how to parallel park faster than I learned how to navigate this keyboard, just for the record.) It’s not marriage

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Screw Being Your Own Boss

IN: Business 101

“I started my own business so I could be my own boss!”  Meh meh meh meh meh!  *high-pitched little girl’s voice* No, you didn’t. You might think you did, but you definitely didn’t. Want to know why? Because being your own boss is infinitely harder than having a boss. And by infinitely (which, by the way, is a pain in the ass to spell), I mean 17,929,531.9045 times harder. Yes, that’s exact math. Although I suppose it’s than that, since we’re

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If You Had One Shot…Would You Capture It, Or Let It Slip?

IN: Business 101

Hand holding. It’s a beautiful thing. Especially when the hand that you’re holding is tall, dark and Mediterranean. But sometimes, other forms of hand holding is just as…tingly. Like when you’re in the early stages of business brainstorming, or getting your business launched, and you need someone to: a) Kick your ass b) Hold you accountable c) Just tell you what the fuck you need to do d) So you can do it e) And everybody goes home happy Based

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Dirty Confessions of an Entrepreneur: What I Never Told You

IN: Business 101

I have a confession to make. Not about the time I was a cold, unfeeling bitch. Or the time I fell in uncontrollably in with an illegal Mexican immigrant who lied to me for 7 months about his real name. Nor about the time I mixed oatmeal and hot sauce and secretly liked it. (Just kidding–what kind of a sicko would actually do that?)– No, no. This confession has to do with my business.  And with you.  In a

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Entrepreneurs: Show Me Your (Black Lace) Thong & Tell Your Story Like You Mean It

IN: Business 101, Confidence

I have many beliefs. Like black lace, for one. Or a perfectly timed comeback. Or that no matter where I am in the world, coffee will always taste better through a straw. (I’m even incd to call this fact than belief.) You know, the important stuff in life. But there’s one belief in particular, one belief that has served to inform every aspect of my life, from dawn until dusk, til death do us PART. (Likely the only time

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Entrepreneurs: Please Don’t Puke On Me. Love, Ashley.

IN: Business 101

First Day of the Week: Could life BE any better? Somebody bring me champagne. Feed me chocolates. Tickle my toes in all the right places. And send a memo to the president alerting him to the fact that I AM A GOD DAMN GENIUS. This whole me-running-my-own-biz-nass thing is really going to work out after all! RELIEF.  RELIEF.  RELIEF. MONEY!  MONEY!  MONEY! CHAMPAGNE!  CHAMPAGNE!  CHAMPAGNE! Jumps! Up! And! Down!– Second Day of the Week: I suck. Suck, suck, suck! The

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Modern Day Slavery: Worth Pondering

IN: Business 101

“To have a home, a family, a property or a public function… To be a useful cog in the social machine. All these things seem necessary, even indispensable, to the vast majority of men, including intellectuals, and including even those who think of themselves as wholly liberated. And yet such things are only a different form of the slavery that comes of contact with others. Especially regulated and continued contact.” –Isabelle Eberhardt

Argentina + An 11 Year Old Boy + Greatest Business Asset of All

IN: Business 101

“Good afternoon, ma’am!” he cheerfully exclaims. I lo up from my menu at the outdoor cafe, and I’m greeted by the eager, smiling face of a young boy. One of his front teeth is noticeably chipped in half, but that doesn’t stop him from beaming with uninhibited enthusiasm as he carefully lays down 5 sheets of Hello Kitty stickers to the side of my placemat without permission. Before I can say anything, he takes the lead: “My, your hair color

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The Greatest Human Tragedy of All: Us, Right Now

IN: Business 101

You’ve been suffering. Despair has been bloodthirstily clawing at your soul—savagely, abruptly & without abandon. It’s grips are icy & callous, as it mercilessly forces itself upon you, the lingering smell of stale gin on its breath, violently violating your good intentions. You feel smothered, dirty & ashamed as you gasp for air & pray that it will be over soon. Tears fall silently, but you cannot defend yourself. Despair overpowers you. You’ve tried screaming for help, but as it

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Does Risk Really Equal Reward? Only If You Redefine “Risk”

IN: Business 101

Life is full of contradictions. Take the very premise that America was built on:  Fearless determination, courage, imagination, and nothing than a dream mixed with a ful of hope. America was built on the backs of the stubborn, the tenacious, the rebellious – those who would not accept no for an answer. They started with a belief. From that belief grew a vision. And from that vision grew this country. Thereafter, the cycle continues to repeat itself:  This country

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To Create The Life You Want, Passion Is Not Enough

IN: Business 101

Sometimes, you just know. Just like I knew, the very first time I heard the most beautiful Spanish being spen by a blonde-haired, USA born girl who had studied abroad in Mexico, that I, too, would someday have foreign adventures fueled by a lustful curiosity, a carefree spirit, and heaps of naivety that would eventually turn into some of the most powerful wisdom I’ve acquired. It wasn’t something I ever questioned; it was simply something that I knew, with every

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Introducing the World’s Newest Form of Religion

IN: Business 101

We hear it all the time: FIND MEANING IN YOUR LIFE. It’s become the advice du jour. The magical solution to our woes. The on-call prescription for disappointment with life. The hope we hold onto when our own has abandoned us. In a sense, the search for meaning has become a religion of its own. We worship its ideals and bow at its implications. We’re kept awake at night, hoping to form a relationship with meaning. We want to feel

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Still Waiting for that Promotion? Learn How to Put Your Career & Life Back Into Your Own Hands, Once & For All

IN: Business 101

In this post, I talk a lot about my own personal journey, and how I’ve gotten to where I am today.  If you just want to skip to the end where there are resources that will show  you how YOU can get rebel against mediocrity and take your life & career into your own hands–sans boss–then be my guest.  My feelings won’t be hurt. The Evolution of a Shy Girl Turned Outspen Lunatic Most of you probably have a good

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