I Hate Monday: Edition #10

IN: I Hate Monday

Welcome to I Hate Monday, the most productive way for small business owner, freelancers & creatives to procrastinate until it’s not Monday anymore.

  1. Let’s face it: Lounging around your living room in a perfectly ironed pants suit is fucking weird—which is obviously why yoga pants have become the dress code of work-from-home business owners & independents worldwide. (And also because you can easily trick people into thinking you actually do things like aforementioned “yoga.”) But, you know, there are major downfalls to the yoga pant dress code, including the fact that you will always feel slightly slobby, and wearing stretch pants from The Gap probably doesn’t do much for your rapidly rising imposter syndrome.  Enter: The All New Dress Yoga Pant Collection. It’s part dress pant, part yoga pant, and designed to make you feel at least 40% more legitimate. (If you try these, I want to know about it.)
  2. Santa brought me an Apple Watch for Christmas (I look like a moron in a watch but the way this thing is tracking my calories EVEN WHEN I’M SITTING, I’m pretty sure we might be BFF before 2016 even starts), and one of my favorite features is the sexual harassment that happens every hour if I don’t get off my ass at least once. So because my Apple Watch thinks it’s so smart, I decided to do it one better: I wouldn’t just stand for a minute; I would do a minute of push-ups. TAKE THAT, YOU SMUG 38MM PIECE OF ALUMINUM. And so far? It’s making me feel kind of like I might actually have a shot at this whole “getting in shape for the New Year because obviously that’s everyone’s New Year’s Resolution so why fight it” thing. If you’re someone who spends a ton of time on the computer, setting an alarm every hour & getting up off your buns is probably a good idea and will make you live way longer. Or at least make you feel less guilty. Or give you something to do in your dress yoga pants.
  3. Get your New Year’s resolution written & printed in calligraphy. Why am I bringing this up?  Not because I want my pathetic little push-up goal to actually be written in stone—err, really fancy paper—but becuase it’s an excellent demonstration of a company taking a general product, and making its product relevant. Would you have ever thought to get your New Year’s resolution printed this way? Probably not. But because the company was proactive enough to offer a specific product specifically for that, it’s enough to get you thinking, “That could be fun!” (Alternatively, “that could be something I want to pummel with darts!”) The specificity plants the seed in your head, and gives you a reason to buy NOW. Sometimes, it’s not about what you sell, but about giving people a reason to buy it.
  4. By the way, the world’s first website just turned twenty five years old the other day. I wonder if it’s still rebelling against its parents (you still do that in your twenties, right?) and binge drinking Keystone Light. (Or maybe it’s graduated to Miller?)
  5. Innovative as fuck—yet also simple as fuck.  The lesson here: You don’t need to build a $50,000 website in order to try out an idea. All you need are the guts to keep it simple.
  6. In case you missed NPR Correspondent Eric Weiner’s Geography of Bliss, first of all, you should immediately ground yourself and take away your internet privileges, and second, you should promptly pre-order his new book, The Geography of Genius: A Search for the World’s Most Creative Places from Ancient Athens to Silicon Valley. Weiner sets out to explore the link between our surroundings and our most innovative ideas, and I can’t wait to read it, given that this outlines the very reason why I began running my Life Hooky international getaways for business owners in the first place. When you’re “in a rut,” it might be because you physically *are* in a place that’s too routine for big ideas. (Pssst. New trips coming in 2016!)
  7. This online interior design firm is a phenomenal example of a traditional industry who got a digital bug rammed up their rumpus—and it’s BRILLIANT. Consider ways you can translate your work into an online business model, and watch your costs plummet, while your revenue…does the opposite. 
  8. Speaking of e-commerce, The New York Times reported a story about this chick, who simultaneously runs 6 businesses online…and she’s the only employee.
  9. In case you were wondering what Netflix has been up to while Apple TV kicked its ass, I have the answer: Netflix has been making socks that pause your show when you fall asleep. But no, really.
  10.  A taco joint took videos from a burglary and turned it into a viral sensation. This is AWESOME—and the very definition of creating your own PR opportunities, instead of waiting around for someone to “discover you.” *laughs loudly into the mic*
  11. This short and sweet missive by Seth Godin will be the most profound thing you read today. (And it’s ALLLLL about spreading yourself too thin. Did we all just group groan? Because based on my conversations with small business owners across the globe, the struggle is real, yo.)
  12. We should probably talk about the fact that I’m way too excited to see the movie Joy, featuring Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Freaking De Niro, about going from a single mother to home shopping darling and a multi-million dollar success story—all with the wring of a mop. Hopefully the movie isn’t a disappointment, but knowing that this is based on a true story? All I can say is: YOU GO, GIRL.
  13. This tweet.
  14. This is an interesting add-on for your email that promises to underline words in your email, like “just” and “sorry” to help you banish weak communication that may undermine your efforts. For example, starting an email with, “Hey Donna, I just was wondering if…” is apologizing for your very existence. Similarly, “Sorry for bothering you,” is another disclaimer that automatically positions you as inferior.
  15. Calling all bikers / pedestrians / humans who are alive: If you’ve ever worried that your arms were going to get torn off by some half blind jackoff driving around in his giant Ford F150, then Volvo’s got the solution for you. Introducing Volvo Life Paint, a substance you can spray onto your bike, your clothes, your hair, your moustache that lights up crazy reflective when a car’s lights are on you–but is totally invisible during the day. (Also, big ups, Volvo, for developing a product as a form of marketing.)
  16. Tired of hearing about all the same internet-incestual “big names” popping up in your newsfeed? Here’s a refreshing round-up of folks who are on the cusp of the next big thing…and who you’ve probably never heard of.
  17. This storyteller distills his big story ideas into bedtime stories for his daughter as a way to test where the holes are—and make sure the story has the right cornerstones to be a hit.
  18. If you’re feeling about as festive as The Grinch, I highly suggest installing snowfall on your website. Now, you can fake holiday cheer!
  19. This 99u piece is my favorite article of the lot, and is one of the reasons why I keep a 140 character limit on my contact form: Because if I don’t prioritize my workload, somebody else will do it for me.
  20. On that same note, here’s an explanation from author Neal Stephenson on why he doesn’t apologize for sucking at answering emails. “There is little to nothing that I can offer readers above and beyond what appears in my published writings. It follows that I should devote all my efforts to writing more material for publication, rather than spending a few minutes here, a day there, answering e-mails or going to conferences.” Right on, bro.


There we go. Politely piss off now, Monday. We’ll see you next week.


Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and This Blog


P.S. Big things coming for this community in 2016. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE, BABY!