I Hate Monday: Edition #7

IN: I Hate Monday

Welcome to I Hate Monday, the most productive way for small business owners & bloggers to procrastinate until it’s not Monday anymore.

  1. Having a bad day? Feeling bitter? Want to punch somebody in the noggin? (Don’t actually do that, you guys.) This adult coloring book, called “F*ck This Journal: Betterness Through Bitterness,” might just be the thing. As they say, embrace your cre-hate-tivity?
  2. If Christmas lights can screw with your Wifi, WE’RE ALL DOOMED. (Two points for you, Grinch.)
  3. The New Age Bullshit Generator is a trip. I’ll defer to their description: “Put it on your website as placeholder text. Print it out as a speech for your yoga class and see if anyone can guess a computer wrote it. Use it to write the hottest new bestseller in the self-help section, or give false hope to depressed friends and family members.
  4. The New York Times analyzed Trump’s speech patterns and prove, once again, that words are everything (and having a strong opinion makes you believable, apparently).
  5. Tiffany’s found a creative way to market themselves over the holidays. (Assuming, of course, you’re the kind of person who would actually send someone an obnoxious, totally obvious hint. Ha.)
  6. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 3D CARDBOARD BY GOOGLE? You slap this bad boy onto your smart phone and it’s suddenly Hello, 3D world. (This would make a pretty cool holiday gift—especially if the app you’ve downloaded has anything to do with a 3D Brad Pitt.)
  7. Here’s a cool video that shows the story of the internet’s first online purchase…and how eCommerce all got started. (Praise jesus.)
  8. Helpful tip for B2B: Don’t forget to remind customers that it’s the end of the year…and their last chance to buy your stuff & deduct it from this year’s tax bill. ?My friends over at Freckle Time Tracking did a cool job of doing this right inside the app.
  9. Did you see the announcement about Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos coming together to form a coalition to fight climate change? Now all we need is Captain America to throw his hat into the ring and we should be ALL SET.
  10. This organization is finding people’s racial slurs online, geolocating to find out where they live, and then taking out billboards with a picture of their tweet or Facebook message near their house. I love the creativity here, but it’s a toss up as to whether this is helpful…or harmful.
  11. One characteristic emerged as a significant predictor of success. It wasnt social intelligence. It wasn’t good looks. Physical health. And it wasn’t IQ. It was grit.”
  12. This guy’s profile. “Paper cut survivor.” Including this here because these small details make a big difference when it comes to standing out from the sea of sameness.
  13. Hiring someone to create a brand or product name for you comes with a high price tag. Here’s one reason why: (Hint: You probably shouldn’t accidentally make references to semen.)
  14. Here’s an example of a traditional industry adapting to our modern world of on-demand EVERYTHING—and rightfully so. As expectations change, so should your business model. In this case, we’ve got a tailors who come to your home or office to fit you, take your clothes, do the job, and then deliver back. Love. It.
  15. Have to buy a present for a writer? Maybe YOU’RE a writer and you want to drop a hint, à la Tiffany’s. Check out my Top Twenty Most Original Gifts for That Fucking Writer You Know (No, Not a Moleskine).
  16. Looks like Facebook is trying to steal Periscope’s thunder by allowing you to live stream video to your friends. Now, we can hear everyone’s misguided political opinions…LIVE! Oh, the joy.
  17. Are you in Portland? (Of course you are, apparently half the internet is these days.) Drop by fellow writer Alex Franzen’s Letter’s & Brunch event.
  18. It appears you can now star and bookmark images from within Google searches, which will obviously be very handy for those times when you simply must reference that picture of a porcupine. (Sidenote: This doesn’t seem to be activated for me, but it may be because of my location in Costa Rica at the moment.)
  19. Time Magazine puts out the most instagrammed places in America. I can’t imagine why Scranton, Pennsylvania not on this list. (You know I grew up near there, right?)
  20. Here’s a creative gift idea that costs you nothing except your dignity.
  21. Part of the reason why we sometimes lack confidence? Because we don’t know ourselves too well. (Don’t worry, the guy from last night didn’t know you too well, either.)
  22. Pro tip from me: Keep a Trello list of everything you did that day. On those days when you’re feeling down in the dumps like a total worthless loser, you’ll look back and realize you’ve actually accomplished quite a lot. Even if 40% of the items on your list include “wine.” (P.S. I’m also using Trello to keep my Christmas lists organized!)
  23. I’m really, really, really loving the new New York Times online reader, which lets you read the newspaper in the same order that you would if it were the printed version. Also? A digital subscription = excellent holiday gift. 
  24. Speaking of them, on Saturday The New York Times ran an editorial on its front page for the first time since 1920, calling for increased gun control in the United States. (The last time it did this was in 1920 when it criticized the Republican party for nominating Warren G. Harding for president.)
  25. Cool pre-order book: The Conquer Kit, by my friend Natalie MacNeil (who once hired me to speak on a cruiseship in the Caribbean. You can see why we’re friends!) The Conquer Kit is a creative way to do business planning for women entrepreneurs, and given that Nat is one of the most organized people on the planet, I am SURE this is going to be a really useful tool for the rest of us smelly, hairy, smarmy, schizophrenic chicken heads.
  26. But my favorite pre-order of all?  The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have, With People You Don’t Like, Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do. Obviously I ordered this IMMEDIATELY. You know I’m huge huge huge on setting boundaries—so much so that I created an entire online database full of searchable scripts for business owners who suck at it—so this book? Is kind of like if someone were to take a regular book, smother it in Pepperjack cheese, give it a foul mouth, and then say all the things that we all know anyway…but never actually practice. (You know, like telling people to piss off when they deserve it—which, for the record, is the most highly underdeveloped social skill in America.*) *Not an actual fact but it sounded good, right?

There we go. Politely piss off now, Monday. We’ll see you next week.


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