I Hate Monday: Edition #8

IN: I Hate Monday

Welcome to I Hate Monday, the most productive way for small business owners & bloggers to procrastinate until it’s not Monday anymore.

  1. Cracking up about this: Parody slogans for start-ups and companies. Read through for a dose of clever inspiration (while simultaneously feeling ragingly jealous that you aren’t that clever), or chug a gallon of egg nog and submit your own!Screen Shot 2015-12-14 at 5.34.04 AM
  2. Formal permission to throw eggs at the house of whoever invented this godawful app.
  3. If you’ve ever worn a button down shirt, then you know the shame that is DROOPY COLLAR. These guys have come up with a cool little collar hack, called Million Dollar Collar, which makes it look like you’ve got people on staff whose sole job is to starch your shirts. (Side note: It appears that these collar inserts are disposable, which means you’ve got to order them over and over again. This would have been a great business as a subscription model.)
  4. As someone who participated in organized sports my entire life, this story immediately made me tear up. It’s not about winning; it’s about learning how to play. Same in business, my friends. Money is nice, but the real benefit comes from the DOING.
  5. As a person who’s constantly traveling abroad, there are two services that have saved me from total mental breakdown:
    • The first is Earth Class Mail. I’ve been using this service for years and years and years and absolutely love it. You give them notarized authorization to receive mail on your behalf, they scan it and email it to you as it comes. From within your account dashboard, you can choose to keep your mail, shred your mail, or recycle your mail – and even forward you packages wherever you are. WAY easier than asking Aunt Susie to be your bitch. Note: Holiday Special! Sign up now and use this code to get a month free: f522bf
    • The second is called Thankster. Get this shit: Thankster lets you print out an alphabet form, write each letter with your own handwriting, scan it into their system, and then they make a font out of your handwriting. Then? You can use their system to quickly write digital thank-you notes with your own handwriting, and they’ll lick and seal and send on your behalf. Even better? You can even do fancy business moves, hook it up to your eCommerce software via Zapier, and have Thankster automatically send thank you notes to your clients and customers when they buy. *mic drop* Note: Use promo code TMFlovesThankster for 15% off! (Lookin’ at you, late Christmas card senders!)
  6. Remember the ridiculous hoop-de-lah over the Starbucks red cup? Well, now we’ve got one over the Reese Cup Peanut Butter Tree. (For the love, people.) However, the real reason I’m pointing this story out is because of the brilliant way that Reese handled the criticism. Whoever is doing their PR? Is on my A-list.
  7. And then there are things like this that I just can’t help but link up to. I’m pretty sure I laughed way harder than I should have at these! (Calling all Mr. Bean lovers!)
  8. Google’s getting interactive with their ads—you can now upload a video loop clip right inside an ad. NICEEEEEE.
  9. Trunk Archive. This is the art of taking a regular product—in this case, image licensing—and adding a layer of exclusivity & luxury. Remember: The angle IS the product. What’s yours?
  10. Love this list of nontraditional holiday gift ideas, focused on giving the moment, not the thing.
  11. On the opposite end of thoughtful gifts, we’ve got the boring but convenient GIFT CARD. But, don’t you always feel like a total douche giving one of these? That’s why I’m impressed with Gift Rocket: A company that’s using tech to make this process feel more personal.
  12. Feeling like a grinch this year? I’m pretty sure all you need to do is watch this video of the orangutang in a Barcelona zoo who rolls over dying of laughter when a zoogoer performs a magic trick on him.
  13. Need to raise your rates? Here’s a great line directly from an email I recently got from TD Bank:

    “We regularly review our products and services and, as a result, sometimes adjust our pricing to support our offerings.”

  14. This person approached our charter boat company the other day, and when I saw her resume? I immediately thought, “THIS is how you get hired.” Why it works: 1. It’s professionally done, which makes me think that she takes her work seriously. 2. It’s specific, which shows me she’s committed. 3. It helps me get to know and like her—without meeting her. 4. Why would you hire the other candidate? Where’s their website?
  15. This is one of the most important things I read last week. Do not skip. This is the kind of stuff the helps you get your head out of your ass.
  16. Someone suggested to me recently that “I Hate Monday” was too negative; that it should be more like, “I Love Monday” to keep a positive spin on things. My response? “I Love Monday” would be entirely off brand for The Middle Finger Project. You’ve got to consider your own brand, and what that brand represents, when choosing the names for your product lines and services, and whatever else you do. Here’s a great example of deliberately crafting your brand experience in real life.
  17. Sitting around the tree? Struggling to make conversation with people your mother invited over for ham? Suffering from way too many awkward silences? You can always get creative—wink.
  18. Sometimes life does actually suck.
  19. 100 Notable Books from 2015 from The New York Times. (Warning: You will want to buy them ALL.)
  20. Pretty sure that if you’re really stuck for a gift, you can always get:
  21. Costa Rica’s starting a pilot program to begin paving roads with recycled plastic. Where you at, USA?
  22. Apps like Airbnb and Uber are proving that convenience is a major selling point these days. And oftentimes—like with Twitter—users of a service feel a certain camaraderie. You’re either one of us, or you aren’t. BUT…don’t let that cloud your judgment. Criminals are catching on to ways they can use these services to rob you.
  23. I hadn’t even read this book, and yet this review of the book had me gripped. THAT’S good writing. Now the question is, why? Read and analyze. What makes this great? (Hint: This is how you become a better writer: By thinking.)
  24. Paypal’s added a function that allows you to skip logging into your Paypal account when making purchases from your computer. In my opinion, this is Paypal’s attempt at competing with Amazon’s one-click buy button—and is sure to drive more revenue than ever as consumers become busier and busier, and convenience becomes king. Nice job, Paypal. I like where your head’s at.


There we go. Politely piss off now, Monday. We’ll see you next week.


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